booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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