I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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