hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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