people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My dick has a subreddit
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
