i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You can't just leave with hair like that
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize