If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize