4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
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So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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