honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize