i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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