Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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