After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
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