I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
