Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
barbara walters just said penis...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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