i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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