I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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