is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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