i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize