Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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