thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's blow job season.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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