i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I met the friendliest cop last night
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's