Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
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My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win