We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.