I faked an abortion last night.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills