If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
