i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize