I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize