Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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