I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
