By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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