It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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