Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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