just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize