So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize