Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize