Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
