Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize