we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
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also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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