does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You pole danced in your parka.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats