I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
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he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
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I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.