i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(