I want to stick my p in your. b.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
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What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's not a walk of shame if you run