Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.