I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
