And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
