So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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