the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
