just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
