I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize