At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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