If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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