I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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