Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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