It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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