you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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