summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?