alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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