got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.