p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
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i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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