i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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