Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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